On Coming Out
I am gay.
For many of you, this is the first time you’ve ever heard this – although I’m sure just as many will not be surprised. It’s certainly the first time I’ve ever written those words in such a public space.
June is Pride Month, a worldwide celebration of love, passion, and acceptance. Historically, it represents a moment to honor the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan. Emotionally, it’s a moment for many in the LGBTQIA+ community to remind themselves of where they came from and celebrate their own existence.
For me, my coming out story isn’t anything exciting – it’s what came after that is far more interesting. But that’s a story for another day and a completely different forum. The first person I came out to wasn’t even someone in my family or my inner circle – it was my dog walker. Preparing for a reunion trip to North Carolina with my college roommates, she arrived to pick up my belgian malinois Eggsy. On the way out, she nonchalantly asked me “are you gay?” - I immediately responded with a short “yes”. I stood there for a moment before following up with “you know I’ve never actually said that to anyone, right?” - realizing this was only the beginning of my coming out story. What happened afterwards was a swift unraveling of the last 30 years of my life; I quickly came out to my friends, family, and coworkers in no short order.
I never felt like coming out needed to be a world tour – the people who were most important all found out eventually and I didn’t have the time to print any merch. But having had the opportunity to leave my own digital footprint over the last several months, I figured now was a good as time as ever to put it out there officially. Pride teaches us to celebrate all facets of our lives, and I finally have the confidence to not hide this particular one!
It sounds so cliché to say the things that make us different are what make us powerful, but if I’ve learned anything over the past few years, it’s this exact thing. And with this newfound honesty with myself came a realization of how much I value good communication with others as well. Whether it’s a personal or professional scenario, success will almost always come from being able to identify that particular uniqueness and communicate it successfully.
Coming out not only taught me to value openness in all aspects of my life but introduced me to an entirely new lifestyle and community as well. From the entertainment, social experiences, to everything in between, the LGBTQIA+ community teaches us to live out loud. But, at the same time, we face a multitude of challenges – discrimination, public health, and our own set of toxic behaviors. I’ve taken myself to the deep end of the LGBTQIA+ pool when it comes to pop culture, but have a long way to go in terms of educating myself and truly leaving a positive impact. If anything comes from this, I hope to start the conversation that better connects myself with the causes that are most important to me in the LGBTQIA+ community.
If the past year has taught us anything, it’s that life is far too short to live with regrets. And while I certainly regret living the first 30 years of my life in the closet, I’m equally excited about living the next 30 (and more) right where I belong.
